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Excuse Me While I Whip This Out
So did you see this news story out of Or-la-la-lando?
A group of women staged a “nurse-in” at a Winter Park Chick-Fil-A on Friday after a breast-feeding mom earlier in the week was asked to cover up by the restaurant manager.
The gathering was more outing than protest. About 30 parents – mostly moms, some nestling babies close to them in wraps – filled about half the restaurant, chatting and eating lunch. Those who nursed did so discreetly.
Manager Virginia Piter, who on Tuesday suggested Chylain Krivensky cover herself, worked her way through the crowd accompanied by a costumed cow character.
“Everyone makes mistakes, and I made a doozy, and I’m sorry that I did,” Piter said.
Obviously these parents do not realize the ridiculousness of the scene they created.
Though Ms. Krivensky had every right to breast-feed her child at the Christ-loving chicken shack — Florida state law allows public breast-feeding, regardless of how much of a woman’s boob is exposed — it doesn’t make it kosher. Especially in a restaurant.
We’re eating here. Do you mind?
And spare me all this bullshit about how breast-feeding is a “natural and wonderful thing.” That’s indisputable. But we don’t need to witness that magical bond in all its exposed glory.
Seriously, let’s consider other things that are natural and wonderful. Oh, how about sex!
[Scene: Chick-Fil-A, Saturday, 1:12 p.m.:]
Husband: “Hey sweetie, how about a quick hand job while I finish my waffle fries?”
Wife: “Why sure, honey. Just slide over a little closer …”
Husband, to family at neighboring table: “Excuse me while I whip this out. You won’t mind, will you?”
Wife: “Oh, this is so natural and wonderful!”
Husband: “Milk it, baby! Milk it!”
OK, so sex in public is illegal, and breast-feeding is not. The point is, in the above scenario wouldn’t you at least want the horny husband and his wife to exercise some discretion? Or maybe get a room?
That’s all we’re asking from mothers. If you must breast-feed in public, please be courteous to others and cover yourself.
Unless you’re really hot.
Discussion
5 comments for “Excuse Me While I Whip This Out”
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You know what else in natural and necessary? Taking a dump. Mind if I do that right here? Nothing more natural in the world.
Truly, no one wants to see that. Ever. Or be around afterward, either.
Give me a fucking break. Are women who breastfeed supposed to stay out of public for their entire nursing-hood? You try dealing with hungry babies! And boobs are a lot more hygienic than hands! I’d sooner have a rat gnaw at my breast than a kid but if dudes had to breastfeed there would probably be private relaxation rooms in all public places. Get over it.
Keep your dirty dugs to yourself, Cunty Kate!
Just for your rudeness I am going to start “whipping it out” in all central Florida Chick Fil A to show that saggy, lactating mammary glands are natural and wonderful. A thing of beauty is a joy forever!