This Is Going in Your Permanent Record, Young Man!

Lev Davidovich Wuerffel    Uncategorized     Fuck, Republican Douchebaggery, Virginia

Remember when some teacher said that shit to you in middle school, and you were like, “Fuck off, granny, nobody’s gonna give a shit in 20 years that I said your ass smells like sausage and gravy from Skeeter’s (inside, old-timey Gainesville reference!). Well, you were probably right if, like me, your greatest career aspiration is having a shot at assistant manager at Sonic, but slick, patrician Repub Robert McDonnell is learning that that shit can happen.

Twenty years ago, as a 34-year-old grad student at Pat Robertson’s farm for churning out fundie nutbags, Regent University, McDonnell wrote a master’s thesis charmingly titled “The Republican Party’s Vision for the Family: The Compelling Issue of the Decade” (those grad students, they sure love them some colons in their paper titles!). In it he trumpeted all the tired hash those hacks always go on about: contraceptives shouldn’t be legal for unmarried people, women should be in the homes raising kids (seriously, no shit!), gays should have no legal rights, blah, blah, blah.

Unfortunately for him, Virginia’s pretty purply these days, and he’s been trying to appear kind of moderate, but this ain’t gonna help. To be fair to him, it sounds like he’s come a few steps out of the 4th century, considering one of his daughters fought in Iraq and both have master’s degrees, but the article I read didn’t say nothing about whether they have JOBS or anything.

Anyway, he’s already put the smooth spin on this, trying to turn it around on his democratic challenger, some guy named Creigh Deeds, but we’ll see how it goes for him. The other guy who posts here probably ought to say something about this, since he lives in that state and all.

Of Gators and presidential politics

GoneGator    College Football, Florida Gators, Politics     Barack Obama, Florida Gators, John McCain, Roanoke, Sarah Palin, Virginia

The next five days could be a boom or bust for me personally.

Saturday afternoon, my Florida Gators take on the Georgia Bulldogs in a game that likely will determine the East representative in the SEC Championship Game. Win Saturday, Gators, and you enter the national championship conversation.

Yet as great as that would be, I’d gladly accept a Gators loss in exchange for a Barack Obama victory next Tuesday.

A good friend and I will be canvassing for Obama this weekend in the very red Roanoke, Virginia region. Life as a Democrat here can be disheartening. Last night, while driving through the countryside and mountains that I call home, I counted dozens of McCain/Palin signs in yards and on rear windows. You know how many Obama signs I saw? One.

This is an area Sarah Palin would call the “real America.” You know, folks who love guns, hate all taxes (even those that pay for their schools, roads, medical care, parks, bridges, etc.), and want to bomb the hell out of every last “towel-head” on the planet. Too many still believe Obama is Muslim. That he wants to take their guns away. That he will tax-and-spend the nation into oblivion. They refuse to listen to evidence of the contrary.

Which is why I fully expect my friend and I will not enjoy the response we get to our efforts.

Please don’t get me wrong — I love the people here. They are warm, friendly, hard-working and down-to-earth. I count many McCain supporters among my best friends. I just wish they’d open their minds a bit more.

So undaunted, we will push forward this weekend. Because while I have no expectation of Obama winning in southwest Virginia, I do think he can compete closely enough to impact the statewide results.

So Go Gators.

Go Barack.

Let’s get a two-fer to remember always!